I wanted to blow the dark open
as the oceans mourned
and he stared at me, bleeding
more than he should.
It was too late to understand
your beauty or to wait for
a few words: we bent slowly
towards nothingness.
That book open on my chest
says things I hardly have to remember.
Love aged. I feel the wrinkles gloriously,
anticipating loneliness through
the stained black window.
A suicide note reads me every day
and it is illicit to pretend
I know what life is
after losing all my words
in front of the mirror .
Invisible days lie ahead,
shrinking words, hope and poetry.
When I turn back in anger,
I see you sinking bravely in injections,
telling me about the small things
I could name or forget.
I know somebody judged me silently.
Can't blame him: I was so afraid.
Time never renounced my past
and as something still holds me here,
I love you more than I can bear.
as the oceans mourned
and he stared at me, bleeding
more than he should.
It was too late to understand
your beauty or to wait for
a few words: we bent slowly
towards nothingness.
That book open on my chest
says things I hardly have to remember.
Love aged. I feel the wrinkles gloriously,
anticipating loneliness through
the stained black window.
A suicide note reads me every day
and it is illicit to pretend
I know what life is
after losing all my words
in front of the mirror .
Invisible days lie ahead,
shrinking words, hope and poetry.
When I turn back in anger,
I see you sinking bravely in injections,
telling me about the small things
I could name or forget.
I know somebody judged me silently.
Can't blame him: I was so afraid.
Time never renounced my past
and as something still holds me here,
I love you more than I can bear.
Karla Bardanza
Copyright©Karla Bardanza 2013
Time never renounced my past - what a captivating poem and so full of hidden words that add depth, very well done.
ReplyDeleteThere seem to be many layers in this--made me read it several times and each time I found something new. Thanks for sharing this!
ReplyDeleteThere is great passion in these people. " I see you sinking bravely in injections" is particularly evocative of love in time of illness.
ReplyDeleteI too have read this several times - so much in each stanza. The opening line gets more powerful with each read. I also like your wind chime! I kept looking around my kitchen at first to see what was moving around.
ReplyDeleteA power packed verse full of pain.
ReplyDeletei can def feel the tension in this...between love and a bit of madness...they go well together....the time renounced past line particularly jumped out at me...
ReplyDelete