Painting by Wang Yidong
Beyond the sky where the sounds propagate quietly behind the invisible stars, there is peace. Sexless beings are there waiting to return as space-time dissolves. The forgotten past opens the door to the future, to the unlimited possibilities and life starts tomorrow with gratitude.
When I returned, I woke up scared. I was not prepared to be myself. This is still a daily challenge. Sometimes, I look for me under my clothes, beneath my multiple selves, wondering how much remains from me in myself.
Something is pure nostalgia. I miss what I haven’t had although it has always been and will never cease to be, even if it is not what it was before. This is the big puzzle that I do not try to decipher because there are no answers nor questions about things which open our hearts.
I don’t know why I came here with this gap, with this obscure spot in my dark depths. I do not know if some day I can cement this huge chasm that separates me from my ownerless mind. Between yesterday and tomorrow, just life: this powerful unmatched word in the roof of my mouth.
When I hide in Mother Earth’s womb again, it will be without prior notice. I don’t want anybody to pay me anything nor will I owe anything to anybody. When I leave, I won’t be in a hurry and I won’t have expectations but wherever I am, I'll still be alive even after life.
Karla Bardanza
Copyright©Karla Bardanza 2012
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