Self-taught

Painting by Dan Schultz

I have been searching for myself

in manufactured happiness, in words

written with my flesh, in the sterility

of my reason as I succumbed to my own ferocity

and erased the layers of my pseudo sanity.

I have been looking for answers in gloomy

clouds, in skies tainted with despair,

in inexplicable skins, resisting the irrevocable,

so afraid of my own body:

this mystery encapsulated by the universe.

I used to think of myself as an indefinable being

woven out of an untold story. Only recently

I had begun to understand that what I have

always wanted can't be found.

It was with some difficulty that

I found my way inside, learning silently

I don't need anything but The Secret One

who has always been hidden in me .

Karla Bardanza

Copyright©Karla Bardanza 2012