Stream of Consciousness

Painting by Angela Fraleigh

If i could leave this bitter coffee
for tomorrow or maybe those overdue bills
my heart refuses to pay, something
unexpected might happen like a letter
from your God or a new translation movement.
But my ecliptic circle lost the axis and some
areas of my life receives more radiation
than others, burning plans, promises, passions.

Your hemispheres are farther from my sun
and the latest equinox was shy.

i feel my skin rippling over my body every Monday
when i get up at 5 am to go to work in a textureless
dimension, absolutely frozen inside as the sun
crawls to the kitchen.
If we could rehearse forgiveness, life…life would
be Zen.
But i see my own past looking at me
and you say “no” for the tenth time:
death always triumphs over my coffee in the morning.

Things have no name
and i am between the shores of pain
and love, carrying nothing but anguish
and it is a burden too heavy for a woman
like me who still believes in poetry.
i shall adorn my wounds with some more dreams
as i cry over my spilt coffee, expecting what
can’t be expected, feeling the absolute in exile.

If we could rehearse again…if we could…
Maybe i could take a seat in paradise.
But what’s paradise when hell is all
you have ever known?

Karla Bardanza


Copyright©Karla Bardanza 2012

1 comment:

  1. Life is not easy. It takes one to be strong to live in the world today. We must have the strength within to walk on. Excellent piece. I pray you find your ZEN. tc