MEA CULPA

I sat beside myself,
sowing thoughts in
the rain, enslaved
by tumult, disheartened
as flowers grew on me,
bruising my mind.

I crossed my arms,
feeling the weight of
impassivity, staring at
nothing, looking for nothing,
honoring nothingness.

It was a dayless night.
It was an inaudible moment
of sacrilege of an unsociable sheep
while life followed its insensate flux.

I looked at people around
for some seconds with great
penetration.
They were so concetrated
in their great lives.
I hesitated long enough
to measure mine and find
out I needed serenity.
But where could I buy it?
Was it expnsive?

I couldn't control my hands and legs.
I couldn't control my mind.
Despair pressed me
and I blamed myself for
not knowing what happiness was.


Karla Bardanza