The long scratches in us

I know you are in rehab (no no no)
and have been clean
for three weeks.
No alcohol, no nothing.

I know court is on June 23 rd
and Buddhism is helping you
to cope with the raw experiences
of life.

I know we still are two lost souls
raging, aching, living, trying not
to see the inviting open window

I am repeating I know as if
my limited knowledge could give me
solace when solace can't be found
simply because I can only contemplate
the geometric progression of our pain
and losses.

What we feel is bigger than us.
It is a thought moving fast,
multiplying the horizon
and swallowing the sun.

You grew inside of me,
spreading fast like ivy,
like the moonlight on
the surface of the days.

And nothing is here,
I can't find what
we saw, we shared.
Silence creeps around me.

There are many words
in my distorted mouth.
Many unreachable words
waiting to be cuddled,
embraced, touched.
Some things are so distant
even when they are inside us,
even when they want us.

I feel. Oh! I feel
and it hurts me,
and we both love what
never existed
because we...we never

Karla Bardanza

For G

Copyright©Karla Bardanza 2013 Photobucket


  1. This is absolutely brilliant. The feelings expressed are so tumultuous, such a brave, powerful piece.

  2. Flower, we all have a person in our life who is and is not. I find
    this very touching and real. I feel as if you wrote it about myself.
    I loved this and I thank you for posting it. Shalom