Painting by Anne-Julie Aubry

You stayed silent and calm,
watching my soft madness
as I licked your serenity,
aligning our planets
to unseen galaxies.
Our geometry had no limit.


You filled my ears
with wonders.
I saw your eyes
turning into oceans of despair.
It was good to die
in contradiction.


Your thorns still prick me,
when I remember our sepia moments
and again from where I stand,
my mouth bangs behind
your heavenly solitary gates.


Happiness always stumbles
and falls dead at my feet.


There is nothing to feel

Karla Bardanza

Saudade is is a unique Portuguese word that has no immediate translation in English. Saudade describes a deep emotional state of nostalgic longing for an absent something or someone that one loves. It often carries a repressed knowledge that the object of longing might never return. It's related to the feelings of longing, yearning.

Saudade has been described as a "...vague and constant desire for something that does not and probably cannot exist ... a turning towards the past or towards the future." A stronger form of saudade may be felt towards people and things whose whereabouts are unknown, such as a lost lover, or a family member who has gone missing. It may also be translated as a deep longing or yearning for something that does not exist or is unattainable.

Saudade was once described as "the love that remains" after someone is gone. Saudade is the recollection of feelings, experiences, places or events that once brought excitement, pleasure, well-being, which now triggers the senses and makes one live again. It can be described as an emptiness, like someone (e.g., one's children, parents, sibling, grandparents, friends, pets) or something (e.g., places, things one used to do in childhood, or other activities performed in the past) should be there in a particular moment is missing, and the individual feels this absence. In Portuguese, 'tenho saudades tuas', translates as 'I have saudades of you' meaning 'I miss you', but carries a much stronger tone. In fact, one can have 'saudades' of someone whom one is with, but have some feeling of loss towards the past or the future.

Copyright©Karla Bardanza 2012

1 comment:

  1. "HAPPINESS ALWAYS FALLS DEAD AT MY FEET...." I find this out of character for you. You are the most upbeat person I have met. I would say this is a dark moment of others smothering ones inner being. Loved the analogy in this. EXALT! Carry on!! Blessings.