MY CHEAP PSYCHOLOGY

Yesterday

my pulsion of life

rested.

I guess my pleasure principle

was in a trash.

Death drive

spoke louder

and punched me repeatedly

in the eye
as self-immolation shouted at me:

I could not love myself

with so many numbers and concepts

in front of me.

Nothing minimized my anguish,

my state of inertia.

Neither my Ego nor my Id

could understand me.

Oh! This sense of uneasiness is inherent in civilized life

I watched my aims and plans running away

as I was searching

for some relief in unrelieved things.

I didn't know where life was,

only death.

Today I am a little better:

I took two tablespoons of poetry

and an injection of Sophia de Mello Breyner*

in my vein.

I am doped though:

first I thought I was a poet,

then a mermaid.

In the end I realized

I am a spider suffering from amnesia

and without a web.

Freud explains.

Karla Bardanza

*Sophia de Mello Breyner Andresen (November 6, 1919 - July 2, 2004) was an award-winning Portuguese poet and writer.

She is one of my favourite poets.

Copyright©Karla Bardanza 2011