I AM WEIRD

I don't know how to do the basic things
that every woman should know by heart.

I don't know how to behave like every woman does.
I was not prepared to obey this destiny or maybe
enjoy this art

There must be something wrong with me.
I am my own creation.

I would like to be an idealized woman, a fairy, a saint.
But I am not this kind, can't be a product of philosophic imagination.
(The eternal feminine can't be defined)

How strange it is not to be what I should be!
My mother raised me to fight, to challenge
the stars and the universe, to hunt together
with Diana, to listen to the moon.

Maybe I'll learn Aphrodite's secrets
before I kiss the typhoon.
Maybe.
(I am odd)

A lioness lives in my shadow.
I'm weird. I myself told this mystery to my god.
Why am I so different?
Why can't I follow the paradigms?
Am I an accident?

Those who don't like this incidental being here,
throw the first stone or complain.
Simone has taught me that I will never belong to
the second sex.
(I've just read her again)

This is me: a kamikaze woman, full
ups and downs, ready to be the Other, to belong
to the minority and transcend.
Say I am weird. Say it again.
Haven't you realized that I never bend?

My identity is my most important possession
and it was woven from my thirst of liberty and
transgression.

Karla Bardanza